Surprise Attack...I Mean Visit

My parents are to visit this weekend, that shall be an adventure all its own. I have little to no food in my apartment that doesn’t come in a box, a can or if feeling adventurous a jar. I work in a hotel, I’m the Assistant General Manager…they want to stay in my one bedroom apartment. Which means I get the couch…and or the inflatable mattress they are bringing. I only have one set of sheets and one blanket. I only have one set of sheets because I had to buy king sheets for my massive bed. So, to clear out my apartment of all the stuff I don’t use I took all my queen sheets to the mainland and put them in my car.

The conversation went like this, my dad texted me on Sunday,  “Do you if work fri, sat, sun, mon or do you have one of those days off this coming weekend” Me: “Friday”. Monday morning dad texts, “If you have Friday off this maybe we come if its ok” I called my mom to help me decipher the truth of my dad’s poor texting, she said oh we are planning on visiting. So I asked her if it was just for Friday, and she said no the whole weekend.  

My side of the phone was silent for awhile. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy to see them, but I really like to have more than four days notice about company. I really need to clean this place. Which I was going to do on my day off, along with laundry, I guess I’ll start some now.

Winding Thoughts...No Steady Path

I can’t believe how fast the pace on this island moves, for it being so slow. I don’t know how balanced I’ve made my life, lately I’ve lucky if I eat three times a day. I have managed to explore a few new trails, even handled to getting lost a time or two in the wildness of the woods. I made a mistake by trying the fudge, I eat it all the time, I made a conscious effort to reduce my sugar intake. I’m not sure I’ve succeeded yet. I’ve even painted a room in my apartment. To those not here you can only imagine the improvement on it’s lovely structure. The difference encourages me to continue with my home improvements. I like seeing a change, one I’ve orchestrated.

I think that may be my goal in life, is to orchestrate change, change of point of view, angles even how places appear. A little like an interior designer but only for briefer settings. I will not arrange your home, just the events that happen in your life, a celebration, a meeting, a class, ect. Every occurrence and new interesting challenge. I’m all hyped up just thinking about it.

In an effort to eat more regularly, I make what some people would consider dinner at 9am, and take it in to work for lunch, odd I know. Honestly, being me that just makes it normal. I’m such a picky eater, I dislike lunch food. Or what people consider lunch food.  Here I’m still just trying to take care of myself and chase my goals. I still don’t know what I would do if my dreams ever became a reality.

Poor Foundation

I had a pretty great day off yesterday, not only did I get many tasks done, but it also gave me time to think. Which is sometimes dangerous. I spent a lot of money yesterday, in the hopes of saving myself money in the long run. I’ve noticed however that I go out way too much here, more so than I ever did in college. It’s not the drinking so much as the money, the food, the fact I’ve worked out all of once since I’ve been here. I don’t like it. I bike daily but not enough for me to consider it a work out.

Therefore I have a new challenge, I will only go out to eat (not drink) once a week.

·        I will do all the things on the island I’ve been meaning to and haven’t gotten around to:

• I will work out two to three times a week.
• Explore the trails
• Go to the library 
•  Check out the cheesy old arcade 
•  Maybe go to the employee dance, held at the Grand on Fridays 
•  Paint my apartment
• Find my favorite spot on the island
• Eat some fudge (I haven't so much as sampled any)
• I just might go horse back riding

 

I just think how I am behaving right now is a poor foundation for the life I want and I know I can do better. So, I’m going to do better. Starting, with today, I plan on running after breakfast, and I’m not going to lie I’m excited.

Trapped or Breaking Away...Somewhere in Between

I went for a marvelous run less than an hour ago, came home stretched, showered and now am enjoying half a candy bar, because I really know how to live. I enjoy island life thus far, everything is only ever about 4 miles away, most people are friendly, and greet each other regularly. The island is somehow even peaceful in its’ frenzied chaos to have every sign painted, window repaired, every item in stock, and all the furniture refinished so that each shop may open fully, smoothly this very weekend.

Even so I find myself drawn to facebook, in the hopes of staying in the loop with my friends. It is odd to think how most of what is posted is almost as though it is in a foreign land. I think of all the events going on the island, the grand openings, the ferries starting to go to Mackinaw City, even the construction. I expect to see these things on facebook, these updates on events. Then I realize I have exactly one friend on facebook that is on this island and she is my co worker. The only one that knows about island events is me.

I see my friends moving, graduating, having parties, or getting ready for the summer, and I feel rather removed. I did not quite expect what graduating and getting a job would mean, in relation to relating to my friends. I will never have another summer off, or spring break, no more exams, or projects with due dates and grades. I will always have due dates but less research is needed; I don’t poor over papers, books, trying to order my thoughts and scribing them all down before they disappear. If anything I get out of my chair and I go do something, talk to people, and make actions happen.

One day we will all once again be on the same page of our lives for awhile, but never in the same town, unlikely for any great amount of time. I will miss those days, however I will not hold onto them so boldly as to keep from finding new connections. I am happy I have had all I have, I hope that as I continue, I will be fortunate enough to have more, yes, I am really that greedy. I never said I was perfect.

Looking (too) Forward?

I perpetually design visions of what I could make my life, the type of lifestyle I will craft into existence for myself, the person I will force myself into becoming. I often wonder if I will ever not be imagining what could be and just enjoy what is. How do I continue to dream without losing the present?

If by some odd happenstance I transform my daydreams into reality, I wonder if I will continue to try to change myself. Forever, looking to that future date, to that life I think I should be living. Or will I find other things to occupy my dreams; will I be less self focused? I want my dreams to incorporate the people who matter in my life; I want to build a life with them not around them.